Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Pernilla August, Oliver Ford Davies, Hugh Quarshie, Ahmed Best, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Terence Stamp
Review: Two Jedi Knights (Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor) escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy (Jake Lloyd) who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their old glory. Sounds like an exciting, entertaining fantasy film, right? WRONG! So...very...wrong. 'The Phantom Menace' is such a boring, confusing, convoluted mess that not even an impressive lightsaber battle in the last act can save it. After a recent re-watch, I was shocked by just how bad it was. The writing, directing, and acting (especially by Natalie Portman and Jake Lloyd) are all on a level of terrible that I wish Han would shot me first! This isn't even a "so bad its good" movie. It's just bad. May the force be with you? If I ever watch this again it'll be because I was forced to do so.
Fun Fact: Qui-Gon Jinn's (Liam Neeson's) communicator is a redecorated Gillette Sensor Excel Razor for Women.