Starring: Patricia Arquette, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Tate Donovan, John Schuck, Lois Smith, Courtney B. Vance, Jeffrey Nordling, Richard Riehle, Mary Pat Gleason
Review: After Havana (Patricia Arquette) and Peter (Tate Donovan) steal a small fortune from the state fair they must marry and hide within a local Hutterite community. But when Peter is killed in a tragic accident his 12-year-old brother (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) must wed Havana. These two very different people must learn to get along while the feds are determined to track down that money.
Holy Matrimony was not the movie that was advertised on the Blu-ray case. It claims to be a hilarious, sexy comedy. It's not that funny, Patricia Arquette dresses sexy on occasion in the movie, and it's not a full-on comedy. It's definitely an "odd duck" of a movie. I'm not sure it knows what it wants to be. Is that the fault of the writers or director Leonard Nimoy? Yes, that Leonard Nimoy! Spock directed this.
The basic premise is two mismatched young people, a 20-something wild woman that needs to grow up and a pre-teen that needs to relax and enjoy being a kid, are joined under unusual circumstances and learn a little from one another and have a few laughs on the way. And that's it, but it's very by-the-numbers and not very compelling or funny. The worst part is that Arquette's Havana is quite annoying, rude, and sour to her young husband so much so that you don't really like her. She just seem rather mean to the boy. And J-Gordy-Levs is cute and funny as Ezekiel, but can't quite connect with his bride. And when the movie needs them to bond it doesn't really work, it just needs to happen because the screenplay said so, which is a shame since they are both great actors.
The thing I did enjoy is that the Hutterite community is not played for laughs. It's shown an impressive amount of respect and is primarily used as the movie's backdrop and helps with the "zany" premise of the marriage predicament. I think I would have like the movie more if it was about Arquette settling down and finding that the community and it's people are a better way to live than petty crimes and dreams of making it in Hollywood. I guess the movie tries to do that in a way, but it's not done very well so I'm not buying it.
I did however buy this Blu-ray for less than a dollar, which isn't the worst thing ever, much like this forgotten screwball comedy of the early '90s. The premise is kind of interesting, but their really isn't much done with it, and that's disappointing. Good actors are wasted, jokes are scarce, and a tacked on sub-plot about a crooked FBI man (John Schuck) makes Holy Matrimony a movie, although not terrible, one that you'll want to regretfully decline.